She Knew
by Tel nok shock
Summary: She knew that there would be a last everything. During that whole year she knew but knowing doesn't make it any easier to deal with when you know a loved one is going to die. Set during 4x01 Lazarus Rising. Dean/OC but not in that sense.


**Please enjoy!**

Eyes filled with tears as a slim girl gazed upon a picture of Dean leaning against his beloved Impala, a large grin covering his face.

_I still remember the look on your face__  
__Bled through the darkness_  
_AT 1:58_

Tears spilled from her brilliant blue eyes as she traced his laughing face with a shaky finger. 11:58. The last time she saw him smile. Albeit weakly.

_The words that you whispered__  
__for just us to know_  
_You told me loved me_  
_so why did you go away?_

11:59. "I love you," he whispered, pretty much throwing his "no chick flick moments" rule straight out the window. Her eyes, as they were now, filled with tears that spilled onto her pale cheeks as she hugged him tightly.

"I love you too," she choked out.

_Go away..._

She didn't _want_ him to go away. But he made that deal. That stupid fucking deal to get Sam back. She was just "a consolation prize," Lilith called her with a sneer aimed directly at her, a bitter laugh torn from her throat as she remembered the demon's words.

_I do recall now the smell of the rain__  
__fresh on the pavement I ran off the plane_

The stench of blood made her gag as she stumbled out of the house. She gratefully gulped in lungfuls of fresh air tainted with the scent of water on pavement from the sprinklers she and Sam had triumphantly activated mere minutes before.

_That July 9th__  
__The beat of your heart_  
_It jumps through your shirt_  
_I can still feel your arms_

May 2nd. A mere 3 days before her birthday. Not that they knew that since even she hadn't remembered until about a month later when she was wandering from town to town trying to find Sam and Dean. She never mentioned it and they never asked to her relief. A year later it was the day his heart stopped and she shattered. It wasn't until about a month later once more did she realize that her birthday had passed. Another bitter laugh tore itself from her throat. **'**_Well happy fucking birthday to me_,**'** she'd thought bitterly.

_But now I go and sit on the floor__  
__wearing your clothes_  
_All that I know is that I don't know_  
_how to be something you miss_

His leather jacket, a few shirts and his boots. Sam took the rest. Dean's scent had faded from it long ago to her sadness.

_Never thought we'd have a last kiss_

She knew. That whole year she knew that there would be a last everything. A last hug, a last kiss on her forehead, a last bitchfest about her stealing his favorite jacket. A last everything. But knowing didn't make it any easier on her mind.

_Your name__  
__forever the name on my lips_

"I miss you," she sobbed. She couldn't say his name. It hurt too much to say it or even think it.

_I do remember__  
__the swing in your step_  
_The life of the party_  
_You're showing off again_

He always made it fun. Showing her his world of danger and mystery. Making even thousand year old legends and dusty old books interesting while showing her the ropes of everything. Her preferred lessons were when he taught her poker and blackjack. When she beat him he'd act like a sore loser while Sam rolled his eyes. Later he would kiss her head and say, "You did good Miranda. You did good baby girl." He always did that after a hunt no matter what happened.

_And I roll my eyes__  
__and you pull me in_  
_I'm not much for dancing_  
_But for you I did_

Dean taught her a lot of things. Even how to dance though she turned out horrible. He just shrugged and told her "You can't win 'em all though you can try your damnedest to."

_Because I love your handshake__  
__meeting my father_  
_I love how you walk with_  
_your hands in your pockets_

Before him and Sam no one cared for her. "Lead a normal life," he insisted once they found her. But she refused point blank. Leading a normal life wasn't her focus. Getting him out of his deal was.

_How you'd kiss me when I was__  
__in the middle of saying something_  
_there's not a day I don't miss_  
_those rude interruptions_

She was an artist. He knew that but whenever he asked her why she was having trouble with a sketch he would get treated to a lecture about color pigments or negative space. Dean just rolled his eyes and gave her a kiss on her head. Miranda would stop and glare at him before going back to her sketch with an angry mumble. Later that night she would snuggle into his side as he researched a case and gave her another kiss on her head. For some reason he never told her not to and she never understood why.

_And I'll go and sit on the floor__  
__wearing your clothes_  
_All that I know is I don't know_  
_How to be something you missed_

There were some days where all she could do was sit on her floor in her room at Bobby's, surrounded by the photos she took over the course of that year. Sometimes they would be of the three of them leaning against the Impala, but mostly just quiet, stolen moments of him letting his guard down and relaxing. Even if it was for just a moment.

_Never thought we'd have__  
__a last kiss_...

Knowing didn't make the idea any easier.

_Never thought we'd end like this..._

His body so mutilated by the hellhounds. She silently thanked whichever tore his throat out ending it quickly.

_Your name__  
__forever the name_  
_on my lips_  
_just like our last kiss_

"I miss you. God I miss you so much," she choked out past the sobs as she clutched a picture of him and his old red shirt to her chest.

_So I watch your life in pictures__  
__just like I used to watch you sleep_  
_And I'll feel you forget me_  
_just like I used to watch you breathe_

Tiny moments that made up not even a tiny portion of his life captured by photos. After four months his voice was difficult to remember. Miranda knew it would soon fade completely from her mind.

_And I'll keep up with our old friends__  
__just to ask them how you are_  
_Hope it's nice where you_ _are_

Sam had stopped calling after a month. Instead of a disappointment it was a relief. She almost asked how he was those first few times. She never told him to stop but he got the hint when she told him "Yeah maybe we'll talk later. Maybe."

_And I hope the sun shines__  
__And its a beautiful day_  
_And something reminds you_  
_You wish you had stayed_

He was gone. Straight to Hell where the sun never shined and the only light possible was from the cruel gleam from the demons eyes. It wouldn't matter how beautiful it was outside. He was gone and nothing would change that.

_We can plan for a change__  
__in weather and time_  
_But I never planned_  
_on you changing your mind_

They promised. _She __promised_ him that they would get him out of his deal. But they failed and he paid the price.

_So I'll go and sit on the floor__  
__wearing your clothes_  
_All that I know is I don't know_  
_How to be something you missed_

She pressed her face into his old red shirt, desperate to find some trace of his scent. That clean, fresh, gunpowder-cinnamon-engine-grease-cheap-soap scent he always smelled like.

_I never thought we'd have__  
__a last kiss_  
_Your name__  
__forever the name_  
_on my lips_  
_just like our last kiss_

Not finding a way out of the deal was never in the cards for her. But she failed him. The first person to ever care for her and she failed him.

_Forever the name__  
__on my lips_  
_forever the name_  
_on my lips__  
__just like our last..._

Her slim body coiled up as she sobbed harder. Her tears ran dry after a few short hours and she fell asleep. Bobby stood in her doorway and sighed before heading back downstairs. "The kid needs you Dean," he sighed. "Even more than Sam needs you. More than anything."

**2 Hours later**

Miranda's eyes fluttered open as she heard Bobby faintly yell "And don't call here again!"

She sighed and rolled her now dry eyes. He was probably yelling at some poor agent who had the misfortune to call him. She uncoiled her slim limbs and stretched herself out, wincing as her body protested. She swung her legs to the floor and stood up with another stretch before making her way to her desk. Her fingers plucked up a charcoal pencil before sitting down. Her bright eyes raked across the sketch before she flicked her iPod playlist from "Sad" to "Drawing" and began to draw and smear in equal parts.

After an hour her hands were faintly stained from the charcoal. She could hear shouting from downstairs but couldn't make out the words over the strains of Metallica that blasted through the speakers. She ignored it once more as she focused on her sketch of Dean leaning against the Impala.

"Miranda get down here!" Bobby yelled. She sighed but didn't move. A few thumps of boots on the stairs made her wonder if it was worth the effort to get up and lock her door.

The door creaked open as she blew some charcoal shavings off of her sketch. "I'll be down in a minute Bobby," she sighed.

"I'm not Bobby."

She froze. Not possible, no way no how she saw his body this isn't happening! She stood up though her legs were shaking badly making it a miracle. Turning she raised her baby blues to see a familiar black t-shirt. Raising them higher she saw a slightly watery pair of green-gold eyes. She took a hesitant, if not slightly shaky, step forward.

"Dad?"

**This turned out differently than I thought it would. Well its 2 AM so could you please review and make my budding Supernatural writing dreams come true? If I get enough reviews I'll continue it. Song is Last Kiss by Taylor Swift.**


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